Many young people do not find their partner on the street, in a bar or a club anymore. Dating apps have been on almost everbody's smartphone. Sometimes it is just for checking who's on the market, sometimes because someone feels a bit lonely or is just too shy to make the first step towards someone they find interesting.
We are on Tinder, Lovoo and Bumble, upload the nicest pictures of ourselves and maybe even write a sentence or two about us. We present us in the most perfect way and maybe the person that we already swiped to the right (which means, that you like that one) has swiped us to the right too. Boom! A match!
Dating apps work everywhere. With the locator of our phone, Tinder will always know where we are and show us possible candidates that are close.
We can tinder at home, at work and even when we are abroad. And especially for au pairs the usage of Tinder is a welcome change to the everyday life. Now the stay is not only about watching the kids, but also about getting to know new people.
Tinder has its pros and cons. Especially if you are new in a country. Not everybody on Tinder is just looking for some fun. It has happened that a date became a really good friend or even the new partner.
But there are some points that au pairs should keep in mind when they meet someone from a dating app that they have never met before.
- Don't let your date ever pick you up at your host family's place. That way your date will know where you live. If you eventually talk about a vacation that you and your host family have planned, your actual date could become a potential burglar.
- Always meet at a public place where you are surrounded by many other people. Don't let your date convince you to go to a place more quiet. Always stay in a safe area.
- Tell your friends and also your host family who you are going to meet. Describe the look of that person and give them his/her name. Tell them where you are going to meet too. You never know, who you are going to meet until you got to know that person.
- Do not talk with your date about places you go to with your host kids, their school, clubs or anything like that.
- Do not give your date and new acquaintance any documents e.g. to help you with any paperwork. It is possible that you'll never see your documents again.
- Talk to your family about something like a code word. If you do not feel safe, you can call them and they could e.g. let you know that the child is very sick and you have to get back home asap. Your date doesn't have to know that this is only a trick to get you out of that situation.
- If you are getting involved with someone more seriously, invite that person to your host family's place and introduce them, so your host family knows who you are seeing. Also your family speaks the same language as your date and for them it is easier to check if that person might be talking in a weird way or has actually other intentions.
- You should never have the feeling, that telling your host family where you are going to is childish!
- Don't forget that your host parents are from another generation. They might not understand, why you are meeting someone you've met on a dating app. For many people Tinder and other apps are only used to find an easy opportunity for sex. Of course those people exist, but not everybody has the same intentions.
- Ask people your age from your host country what they think about certain apps and how these apps are being used in this country. In some countries people use Tinder for other reasons than in your home country.
To become an au pair you can register on AuPair.com and look for a host family.
This post is also available in: German