The first weeks as an au pair are exciting. New people are everywhere to be found and after the au pair has found new friends through school, au pair meetings, at the gym or through Facebook groups, she/he might feel like dating. Because dating is different from meeting friends and can simply be beautiful. Many people use dating apps like Tinder to meet interesting people and see what’s going to happen. They can become friends, but they can also become more than that.
You and me
So, there’s a new couple in town and you spend a lot of time together going on dates. You go to restaurants, to the movies, meet for drinks. After some time of spending days and evenings together you would love to spend the night with your new boyfriend or girlfriend too. As easy as this would be in your home country, living alone in an apartment or in a flat share, as difficult will it be since you are living in your host family’s house. There are borders and rules that you have to accept, because even as a new family member you are still the family’s guest.
Talk to your family
Your host family will probably know that you started dating and maybe they will even come to you to talk about the situation. All adults know what happens after some time in a relationship. So if they want to talk to you about it, be open and tell them if you’d like your girlfriend or boyfriend to spend the night. If your host family tells you that they don’t like someone staying at their house, you have to accept it. There can be different reasons for that. Maybe your room is close to the children’s room and the parents don’t want to explain the noises that came out of the room. The host family could also be religious and therefore they will not support those situations. It is also possible that they just don’t want a stranger in their house at night. Their reason why they might not agree is their business, though.
Where to go
There are many other ways to spend the night together.
If you have the next day off you can stay at your partner’s place. Please remember, that you should always spend the night at home and be back home at a reasonable time on a work night. A relationship should never lead to wrong decisions and coming back home the next morning or in the middle of the night. You have a responsibility with taking care of the children, so stick to those rules.
Plan a weekend trip with your bae. If you always wanted to go to another city, take your boyfriend or girlfriend and go there. Book a nice hotel. An advantage you have here is that it’s cheaper to share the price for a double bed room than paying a single room by yourself. Enjoy the time together. You’ll even see how you do together if you are with each other for 24 hours.
There are definitely ways that you can have a good time together. Remember to keep the peace with your host family! Because once you get into an argument with them, they might also tell you to look for another host family and if interested families are not close to your current place and therefore far away from your beloved, you won’t have the chance to see him or her at all.
This post is also available in: German